The Victory of Letting Go

Hey everyone!

As some of you know from following Twitter and Facebook, my theme for the week is finding and celebrating the victory in letting go. The concept got introduced by my fantastic yoga teacher Johanna in the Monday afternoon class I've been regularly attending for a few weeks. The class is so brilliant- the start of the week, after a weekend that's usually full of music and people and all sorts of things flying at me, energy really high...and then that Monday morning lull, when so many people have gone back to work, and it always feels to me like there's this little pocket of time that's meant for reflection on the weekend and setting intentions for the week ahead.

So, anyway, we're sitting in Hero's pose, and doing a ton of Lion's breath (which, as a Leo, I love :-), and of course, she's taking us through a physical asana practice that's structured around this energetic theme. Now, I've been working for over a year now on consciously letting go in an easy, graceful way. Before, letting go was a huge effort, prefaced by all sorts of hemming and hawing and gnashing of teeth, resisting, hanging on for dear life, coming up with all the terrible "what if?" scenarios that could happen if I let go, having a figurative 5-year-old temper tantrum about whatever it was that I didn't want to give up. Of course, it was always just fear/pride/expectations that I was hanging onto.

It didn't matter that, every time I "just do it", just let go with joy and grace, I find that the space I create is primed for even better things to move in, things I never could have imagined, energy that serves me much better than whatever I was holding onto. So, the year has been a really interesting experiment. I mean, we all hear "Just let go", but what does that mean? How? When? What about the concept that we have to fight for the things that are important to us, and that anything worth keeping is worth fighting for? I'm playing with consciously choosing what I let go of, and what I am still too afraid/proud/stubborn to let go of. Sometimes even things I KNOW don't serve me... outdated ideas about people I love, outdated concepts of love, health, security, success, wealth...even purple plastic pants from high school that I still fit into and keep telling myself "No no, there WILL be some opportunity to wear these." Really? Um, when? I think I broke them out last to go to the Hippodrome in Springfield, CT circa 2000. So, maybe a decade later, it's time to visit Goodwill? Haha. But, you get what I mean.

Every time I let go with willingness and joy, making it a celebration, a VICTORY, incredible experiences transpire afterwards. Maybe not immediately afterwards. Maybe not in the way I thought, or the way I wanted. But in letting go of what does not serve me, I make room for the new, shiny, useful, suitable... for what I NEED. I create space for the Universe to provide what I've been needing, that it's been trying to generously to give me. I'm hanging on to all this crap, refusing to push aside some "plastic pants ideas" in the closet of my consciousness and my life, to make room for experiences and ideas and people that are warm and comfy and clean and new. With rare exception, when I stop resisting and hanging on and pushing, the things that my deepest Self truly desires seem to come to me almost effortlessly. Has anyone else had a similar experience?

Like in yoga. Monday, my breath felt trapped. I hate lunges. My hip flexors are tight, even though I'm incredibly bendy and flexible. I store a lot of tension in that area of my physical body, and we were lunging like crazy on Monday. So, in the spirit of the theme, I let go. I let go of my pride in wanting to make a pose that looked "perfect", in wanting to feel the strength of a warrior when I really felt the pain of my tight muscle, and I let go of the pose completely. I rose up, straightened my leg, exhaled forcefully. I twisted my trunk a little. I did that motorboat thing with my lips and released some tension vocally. And then, feeling pretty darn good, I allowed my body to settle. And I settled right back into a lunge. My back leg was straight, my bent leg felt totally free and fired up. And, I laughed to myself. Oh, silly Cassie. Why resist? Give in. Victory waits on the other side.

As we approach the end of the year, things do seem to "speed up" sometimes. I have a pretty regular practice of review and intention setting that happens every year around this time, when I give myself the gift of a few hours to look back on my life and just observe what I did, how I felt, what I would have done differently, what I learned. This inevitably leads to a set of new desires for accomplishment, goals in how I want to feel, revelations about what worked and what didn't...and it generally points the way for a new, more useful intention for the next year. I do it in categories... Relationships, Love, Health, Career, Spirituality/God, Money/Wealth... it's pretty cool. I'm coming up on that again (usually in December, but I definitely feel myself starting to think about it). And I wonder about the other people in my life. The amazing people who are giving of themselves, and creating brand new ideas and things and music and art, and sticking to commitments they made recently or years ago, and searching for joy and peace like we all do.... I wonder if anyone ever told them it's ok to let go of what's not working. Of things they expected to happen that just haven't happened. Of goals they set for themselves that maybe they have found are not what they truly want, and yet they are holding onto the idea that they still have to accomplish that goal. Some people hold onto this stuff for YEARS. And it literally and figuratively clutters the closet, clogs the pipes, throws a wrench in the gears that could be spinning effortlessly with joy, love, peace, and abundance.

In case anyone hasn't given it to you, I would offer that not only is it OK to let go, but that it's cause for celebration. I imagine the ancient civilizations dancing around the fire, making all those crazy chants and noises and songs, banging on handmade drums, placing or hurling their "dead" stuff into the fire around this time of year. Letting the light from that fire rise up into the dark cold air, and burn away all the negative, resistant energy, to make room for that sense of freshness, lightness, and "clean" that always pervades the Winter air. They were stoked (pun intended) about celebrating the "ending", the letting go! Let's do that too. Gather up your fear of letting go and wrap it in your faith that joyful, beautiful surprises are on the other side; gather up anything that didn't work for you this year and just...release. Every time you do this, you are a hero. You are stronger, not weaker. You are more of a success, never a failure.

And now, let's CELEBRATE!

Hope to see you soon!